Rant

So the other day I was walking around Wicker Park and I decided that I neither have the patience for OR am fashion forward enough to be down there. When I say I don't have the patience for I mean the people down there annoy me. Not only the hippies mind you, because lord knows I fucking HATE hippies, but these hipster kids that all walked out of this cloning machine one at a time.

Here's a checklist of things you NEED to wear if you are going to be at the 6 corners:

Really Tight Pants

Arbitrarily Placed Tattoos

Deep-V Neck Shirts

A terrible hair cut disguised as fashionable ie. fashion mullet

A fixed geared bike

Black rimmed glasses of any shape


Now I realize that I can check a few of these boxes, but that sort of makes it worse. I'm being scoffed at by these piece of shit dickheads for being a half a hispter. Its not my fault I was born like this; there really is NO need to be condescending.

Part Two of "Rant" (not the Palahniuk book)

We played a show this Friday, which should have been good, but was terrible due to things outside our control. I'm not hear to rant about the hippies that were at the show...I've comed to terms with that. What I will rant about on the other hand is the bands at these shows.

We played with this band called Holding Mercury. Whom, were actually pretty good, BUT didn't bring any one to the show (fans or otherwise). Also while on stage they proceeded to tell everyone that one of their songs, that they were about to play, was on a frequent rotation on Q101. And here's where I get pissed...

I'm EXTREMELY sick of playing with bands that have this huge internet presence or "name drop," so to speak, about being on Q101 and are constantly out drawn by us. Every time we play with a band that we've heard of or seem to be getting bigger we out draw. And who the fuck are we? Just a band that gets kids to shows. So we bust our asses doing our part having people for these pretentious pricks to play in front of and instead of doing their part they leech off of bands like us. It's pathetic and I'm sick of it. Granted we, of course, try to canabalize other bands fan base; that's just how it works. Although, when we do it we actually bring fans of our own. These bands that are nothing but dead weight in this sea of over-polluted watered down scene of shitty harmonies and crappy hooks hurt everyone else more than they help.

Moral of the story is FUCK bands that show up to shows with out trying to draw anybody and PROPS to bands that do their part and help out. Sad reality is that the assholes that have a presence or name drop end up getting paid more on bills than we do because promoters are trying to suck up to the bands that they think are going to draw when they come back and play. The end of the night rolls around and we drew 70 people out of 160 and only get paid 70bucks on 6 dollars a head. REALLY shitty.

Quick side rant:

To all the assholes in other bands that walk out of the show to go hang out in front of the building with your ugly girlfriends and best friends to pathetic or worthless to be in bands of their own so they follow you around hoping for a blowjob from one of the girls that seems remotely interested in the disgusting calamitous shit you call music. FUCK YOU. Its bad enough that we had to listen to your music and you littered the show with your pock marked unsightly girlfriends, who typically like our music better (pst they're lying to you when they tell you they like that "new" song that you wrote about them), but to walk out on the other bands that more than likely out drew you and were polite enough to listen to you. Fuck you in an uncomfortable place (like the back of a Volkswagen).

I need sleep. That's my rant for now.

-Chris

p.s. To all family members that started reading my blog:

Hello. I'm sorry if what you read is extremely vulgar and most of the time wildly inappropriate. It's the angry part in side of me that hates hippies, republicans, neo-christians, mormans, "tech support" from India...., bros, tools, etc. Long story short I'm glad you found your way here and hopefully at least what I write about gives you a chuckle even if you don't agree with it.

p.p.s. Hey Eileen. Heart You <3 ;)

It's been like a month

Wow. I can't believe it's been a month since I've posted anything. I'd say I was busy, but then I'd be lying to all my fans, of which evidentially there are a lot of. Oh online world what have you done since I've been gone?

I'm trying to think of everything that's happened in the past month. Let's try and list:

1. Got robbed (identity stolen)
2. Moved back to Chicago
3. Got a new job
4. Band stuff (lots of it)
5. Not gotten enough sleep
6. Saw RXB

I feel like there are a lot more things, but I can't quite think of them now. I'll start with the one thing that's not on the list, but is pretty important.

I've gotten an awesome girlfriend. As some of you have undoubtedly met her already and for those that know her as "myspace girl," I've been hanging out with Eileen (not asian) a lot. Here's a good example of why I missed having a girlfriend and why Eileen is awesome. Last night I slept at Eileen's house and this morning she woke me up to get ready for work and made me pancakes. How awesome is that? Really fucking awesome. ALSO, last week her, Dave, and I went and saw the Rx Bandits. Guess who bought the tickets for me to cheer me up...Eileen. She's baked me cookies and brownies. I honestly could dedicate one whole post to all of the awesome things that she's done for me. She's rad. Fuck you boners for not having an Eileen.

Moving on...

1. I got my identity stolen. In case you were wondering the equation goes like this:

IDENTITY THEFT = NOT COOL MAN, NOT COOL....

Some hooligans in New Jersey and New York took all my money. Which of course, happened less than a week before I moved into my apartment. Needless to say JPMorgan Chase can blow an ENORMOUSLY sweaty cock that burns your nostrils like ammonia. Fuck, skip smelling when the cock finally blows they swallow ammonia. Enjoy.

(Notice that small segway)

2. I moved into an new apartment with Rich and Dave and although I haven't been home much to enjoy it, its fucking awesome. I'm actually currently sitting on my front porch (I designate which porch because believe it or not I have two porches one front and one back) writing this blog while it rains that's how awesome it is. Compare your lives to mine and crumble. We live just north of Irving Park off of Sheridan. The HC (HC=holy grail of shitty bars...Holiday Club. HC REPRESENT!) is a stones throw away. Honestly, I mean its right there....

3. I got a new job. It's pretty rad I work for a tour marketing and promotion company called Direction. Today was day two, so I haven't done a whole lot, but it's weird a. getting a paycheck and b. having to go to work. As I start doing work I'll update more. As far as the background of the company goes...it goes a little something like this (cue music):

The company was started by Micah (my boss) and Joe Shannahan (owner and proprietor of Metro Chicago http://www.metrochicago.com/history/). They started Direction together to promote shows for the Metro nine years ago. Up until a little while ago Direction's offices were held in the upstairs of the Metro (god damn it do I wish I had started working there then). Eventually Micah bought out Joe's share of the company and here we are today.

From Metro to Music...

4. So there has been A LOT of stuff going on with the band as of late. We had a huge show at Clearwater. Since then we have had I think only one show. We played at Xtreme Wheels in Crystal Lake, which was fun despite all the shit that fell apart during the show (mostly my gear and the PA). We met some really rad guys from The Nominees Are. We played the show then went to Fin McCools (not by choice) then stayed up till like 7am by a campfire playing songs, drinking beer then going to IHOP. Pretty awesome. I fell asleep in IHOP and as to be expected Dave and Josh stacked salt and pepper shakers on me.

Also band related we got shirts. Which despite being like 10 feet down the hall from where I'm at right now I haven't seen them, but word is that they are pretty awesome. You should buy a shirt! Endorse The American Autumn or pugs by purchasing a TAA shirt. It's crazy to have shirts....I'd elaborate on how crazy more, but honestly...I'm fucking tired.

5. As I said...I'm fucking tired. I feel like I haven't been getting enough sleep lately. Of course by feeling I mean I KNOW I haven't been getting enough sleep lately.

6. RXB show was fucking incredible. Everytime I see them it's a religious experience. Matt Embree....mmmm Matt Embree. And getting to share the experience with Eileen was incredible.

I really can't think of anything more to blog about. I've been thinking about starting a "rant" blog. Like this blog is my personal blog it tells of my joys of life, but I feel like I want to pick an article out of the news paper 3 times a week and blog about it. Then have people post comments on it for discussion. This comes at a time when Dave is starting a webcomic and I want a way to be funny and make snide remarks about culture, but less visually more rhetorically. Although I have a tough enough time writing about my own life more than once a month it may be difficult to do anything else around that, but maybe once school starts and the job has settled down a bit and I get into a routine I'll be able to find time to do it. Hmm...food for thought.

-Chris