If you hate the taste of wine why do you drink it till your blind?

So this has been a pretty incredible past couple of days. Lets start with Thursday, which is the day I got the internship at Minty Fresh Records. They are relatively large record label in Chicago. I'm super excited its really going to give me a lot of experience into exactly what I want to be apart of. I'm so excited about any future at all I have in the music industry and this is kind of well I guess the second step, the first one being actually going to school.

On Friday was another incredible day. Lago came down and him and I went shopping on Michigan Ave. (god damn it do I love that I live in the city)After that we headed back to the suburbs. I picked up Josh dropped off Lago and went to my bro's house were all my family was hanging out or at least a good portion of them. Hung out there for awhile got some really good quality time with my family. After that I went out with Mills, Eric, Davey, Emily and her friend to the bars. Had a really fun night till around 2.

Woke up yesterday hung around my house for awhile took my little sister shopping which was an interesting experience. Then josh and i ran to best buy and then hung out at Carly and Cody's for a bit, despite them not being there. Then we went and picked up davey and katie and headed to bryans to begin an awesome night. Mills, josh, davey, bryan, katie and flippy hair katie we all went into the hot tub and enjoyed a real chill relaxing just chit chatting. Then we went to Sarah and Kevin's christmas party which was a lot of fun because we got to see some people we hadn't seen in a while. After that we moved it to the Onion pub where we had a beer and chilled for awhile hanging out. Then after that we moved to side outs hung out there till like 3 oclock then we went to steak and shake getting back home around 5 this morning. It was a pretty incredible night all together.

Then today was Christmas part 1 of 3 with out of town relatives and all my brothers and sisters. Had a really awesome time eating and hanging out. Christmas day will bring part 2 of 3 and then this weekend with just my brothers and sisters will conclude christmas.

Anyway, now that we've got that out of the way down to the gritty stuff.

I'm laying on the floor in what was my old room it's now 2 am and my mind is racing a million miles a minute. I just got done with watching Reign Over Me with Adam Sandler and Don Cheale. It was a really good movie, but it pretty much just emphasized how much i think about this one person. It seems very high school to talk about someone on a live journal or a blog or something without using their name, but only bryan and dave read this so...who the hell gives a shit. Right?

This movie reaffirms my constant thinking about you. And i can't tell what to do with myself about it. I feel like I have two options. One is just confess ask to have dinner with you and just confess how ridiculous my feelings are for you. The other option is to just keep my mouth shut like I have been and continue to try and move on. Its weird separating those two things out but neither of them really seem like all that good of an idea. I mean if I confess it leaves me open and vulnerable and the very large possibility of rejection and then boom I guess I'm back to where I am right now just a little more hurt? But what is really wrong with that honestly? I mean a major problem that I have is that I'm more bottled up than i should be especially when it comes to this person. The problem with the other outcome of this scenario is that i don't know if i want a relationship. Sounds weird huh? i guess i wish i just knew what the fuck I wanted our you'd just get the fuck out of my head. Its weird being in such a grey area. I feel like its much more realistic to know what i want rather than play games with myself.

So here I am WIDE fucking awake and not knowing what to do with myself.

Writing this blog doesn't really do anything, but it kind of feels good to get it out even if its just typed on stupid blogspot.

Also bryan i hate you because that boys like girls record is addicting. But bryan i love because i wouldn't have green man without you.

I feel like writing more, but i dont really want to because i'd go on a tangent about why hate christmas and why i love winter.

but i don't want to.

Chris