When time and confusion collide.

First of all, WOOHOO to me I've gotten a 100 views on my blog, which probably are mostly me just rereading my own stuff to see if I say anything really dumb.

Moving on to other things. Josh and I decided to make the trip to Texas for SXSW the week of March 12th. We'll leave Wednesday and go to Sunday just kind of party hopping and checking out music. I was talking to Anthony and he said you really don't even need to buy the $600 music pass you can just party hop and there is free beer and food all weekend, so needless to say Josh and I are kind of just going down there to wing it. We'll probably tag a long with Anthony and Jim (owners of Minty Fresh) a bit. Anthony said he'd show us around a bit. We plan on bringing a ton of our demos and just pass them out to everyone. I started signing up for certain parties that you have to RSVP to, so we'll pass out a lot a the AP magazine one. I don't know, we'll see what happens it should be a lot of fun despite what certain people say...and NO LASSOS will be involved.

There are perks to interning at a record label aside from getting to get into SXSW things by saying I work for Minty Fresh Records. I'm going to a magazine's party tomorrow. I'm not really sure what its for, but Anthony asked me if I wanted to go and its open bar so...you can't really lose. So I'll go possibly just hang out with Anthony; possibly just drink for free.

I've moved out of my indie phase. I'm stuck in a really awkward one; mostly involving Peter, Paul and Mary. Well, in my defense I have to learn this song for a wedding that Josh and I are playing this Saturday. Its kind of funny how since Josh and I are the "musical" ones in the family we get contracted to play weddings a lot. So, I figured in 10 years or so if I haven't made something of myself, I'll just become a wedding singer.

We finally all sat down and talked about living arrangements for the end of the lease. What we are really shooting for now I guess, is a house with myself, Dave, Josh, Rich and Kyle. It will be crazy if it can actually happen, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Lately I've been really thing about what it is exactly I'm doing with my life. I've become so disheartened....disenchanted? with the "music" life. I just don't know what to do about it. My fear is that I continue down this road of getting a music degree and then find that I'll have no where to go because the music industry is over-flowing with the degenerates trying to "make it" in music now, who know what it'll be like in 2 or 3 more years, ya know? And I'm surrounded by all these people that are doing music as a side part of their lives and leading "normal" lives with "normal" jobs and are doing really well for themselves. I supposed my fear spawns from being afraid I'll be 60K in debt and not being able to pay that off because I'll never make enough money to be comfortable.

Which of course leads to the question should I let my life be lead by money? And I shouldn't be and everyone will say that, but the reality of it is that you can't survive in this country without money. It's impossible and I'd love not to have to worry about money like I see my parents doing all the time.

The other thing is lets say, ok yeah I'll make money when I get out of college because there will be jobs, but if I want to make serious money in music I'll have to leave Chicago, unless of course the Chi-town scene explodes soon *waiting....*. And I don't want to leave Chicago that would suck, every other places sucks hard.

I don't know, I'm probably worrying about this way to much. Maybe. I don't know.

So my plan b is to never get a job and keep taking out student loans till I die and then let my kids have to deal with...Yeah solid plan.

What else can we touch on in my boredum?

How about love? Love is a funny thing. I know I've talked about it before and hell I even have the word tattooed on my wrist...so does josh *cough*copy cat*cough*.

I think I'm doing alright without it. It was a little rough there for a bit, I felt lonely, but I think I'm going to make it. Its kind of odd thinking about how long I've been single for. I mean I haven't had an offical "girlfriend" there have been girls I guess, but I've not been in a serious relationship in awhile.

Not saying that everyone can make it without it cause some people need it. Love that is. But there are other people that really deserve it. I know thats a weird thing to say, but some people really do. Although, I think that it can be mistaken for people that are used to having it. You have to be careful cause I've seen that slippery slope of people that are in repetitive relationships with people and they can't see it and they can't hear you either.

Love can be a crappy topic I guess, but its good to not forget about it. Its weird when i talk about it (not to be overly dramatic), but I can kind of feel that empty feeling in the center of my chest. Could just be all the mac and cheese I ate earlier digesting...

Lastly, I forgot how Never Take Friendship Personal was such a good album

Thats it I guess I'm done rambling.

Goodnight.

Chris